The Sugar Bunny Mum
A1 From Day 1
🌼 Keeping your A1’s from Day 1
March 25, 2026
One of the hardest lessons in adulthood isn’t learning how to meet people. It’s learning where to place them in your life once you do.
Not everyone who enters your garden is meant to stand in the same row.
And sometimes, if we’re honest, we’ve given people prime real estate in our lives who barely saved us anywhere on theirs.
Some people are shade. Some people are sunshine. And some… are simply passing through.
Like the Sugar bunny chrysanthemum, this bloom is soft, beautiful, and full — but it also grows best when it has the right space in the garden. Too crowded, and it can’t flourish. Too isolated, and it loses its balance.
The same is true for us and the people we allow into our lives.
The Sugar bunny Mum — placing people in your life where they have placed you in theirs.
Remember in the Hello Bloom I said this blog was not about cutting people off, going no-contact, or stomping into the sunset saying, “I can do bad all by myself”?
…Okay. A little dramatic.
I am the drama.
Alright, back to reality.
The Sugar bunny Mum is actually about putting things into perspective — and that includes the people in our lives.
Are you loyal?
And I mean loyal — not rap-song “ride or die,” I’ll-never-turn-my-back-on-you, I’ll-go-out-of-my-way-to-prove-I-have-your-back loyal.
Because while that kind of loyalty sounds admirable, loyalty that isn’t reciprocated can quickly become the opening and closing scenes of your own personal documentary titled:
Severe crashout.
Burnout.
Not setting boundaries and cutting everyone off in protest while cussing everyone — and everything — out.
And maybe flipping a table or two.
You know… for dramatic effect.
But back to reality — for real this time.
Loyalty that is reciprocated is one of life’s most beautiful things.
It builds our confidence to know someone truly has our back. It creates space for mistakes and, even better, celebrates us when we get back on our feet. It gives us room to cry, breathe, and regroup with support and love.
But we also have to make sure we are placing people in our lives at the same level we are placed in theirs.
What does that mean?
Let’s imagine life as an Excel sheet.
(Remember — I’m an analyst. A spreadsheet was going to show up eventually.)
Every spreadsheet has a starting point.
Cell A1.
Top left corner.
The place where everything begins.
The most visible cell on the page.
In life, our A1s are the people we prioritize first — the ones we show up for, answer immediately, rearrange our schedules for, and protect space for in our lives.
They’re the people we assume will do the same for us.
But here’s where things get interesting.
Sometimes we place someone in our A1…
while in their spreadsheet, we’re sitting somewhere around Column Y, Row 48.
Technically on the sheet.
But not exactly prioritized.
Not the first call.
Not the first thought.
Not the first space.
And the imbalance isn’t always intentional.
Sometimes it happens slowly — through habit, history, or simply because we never stopped to ask:
Where do I actually sit on their spreadsheet?
Because reciprocity isn’t about everyone being in the exact same cell.
Life doesn’t work like that.
But if someone occupies your A1 while you live somewhere deep in the scroll of their sheet…
that’s not balance.
That’s emotional over-allocation.
And part of growth — part of this next bloom — is learning how to reorganize the spreadsheet.
Not with anger.
Not with resentment.
Just with clarity.
Because sometimes the healthiest thing you can do in life…
is realize you gave someone A1 access when they only gave you Y48 attention.
These are individuals you might call, but they may never pick up. Yet when they call, they expect what?
When loyalty is misplaced… sometimes you just need to channel your inner substitute teacher and say:
‘You done messed up, A-A-Ron.’”
Unreciprocated loyalty.
In reality, you may not be as important to them as they are to you.
Plain and simple.
And when we place those people in the top row of our Excel sheet, we unintentionally stop giving our true, blue, divine loyal people the loyalty they actually deserve.
So in any season of transition, it’s important to evaluate all nouns — persons, places, and things.
Make sure you are bringing the people in your rows with you, while also accepting the place you hold on someone else’s Excel sheet.
No drama.
Just facts.
Just data.
It’s about setting boundaries and protecting your feelings.
And I don’t care what anyone says — your feelings matter.
Feelings grounded in truth are often part of our intuition.
Having a feeling about people or situations has saved my life many times.
Remember in our earlier Mums when I said that when God places something on my spirit, it isn’t a suggestion — it’s a call to follow Him.
Follow without needing all the answers. Without doubt.
The journey will get hard. You will make mistakes. You will have periods of uncertainty.
But being able to look at your Excel sheet and call the people in your rows is like being wrapped in a blanket fresh out of the dryer when it’s fifty degrees outside.
Safe.
Comforted.
Supported.
You give those things — and you are deserving of those things.
Make space for the people who give that loyalty unapologetically and willingly.
Back when our biggest concerns were exams, cafeteria food, and who borrowed whose hoodie.
Middle school loyalty carried us all the way to college.
My A1
Different cities.
Different seasons of life.
Still sitting in the same row of my spreadsheet.
The Sugar bunny Mum is about setting boundaries and finding your placement so you have the strength and energy required to start a new normal.
Or maybe a non-normal.
That part is up to you.
No cutting people off.
No Instagram or Facebook subliminal messages.
Just accepting the place you occupy on someone else’s Excel sheet — and acting accordingly.
Because growth sometimes requires us to take a closer look at where our energy is going… and who we’ve been giving it to.
Not everyone in your garden holds the same place.
And sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is simply place people where they’ve already placed you.
No drama.
No announcements.
Just clarity.
Peace doesn’t always come from removing people — sometimes it comes from simply moving them to the row they chose.
Some lights never leave us.
They just change the way they shine.
Running toward the next bloom.
A1 intact.
Thank you again for joining me on this journey. And although it’s bittersweet, we have one more Mum in this series before heading into the Move Blossom.
Our final Mum will explore a bloom that every garden eventually experiences at some point — grief.
Loss is part of life.
And strangely enough, it is also proof that love once lived there.
Navigating our bloom in the midst of grief and heartache means learning how to continue the journey — even when the people we love are no longer here in the physical.
We carry them forward anyway.
In our hearts.
In our memories.
Until next time mums. We bloom.
“God, allow us to walk in power, not in survival.”
— Chrysanthia
The Coastal Chrysanthemum
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